Paul

Starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver, Blythe Danner
Director Greg Mottola
Released 2011
Plot Two hapless British sci-fi geeks, on a road tour of the famous UFO sites of America, meet a real fugitive extra-terrestrial named Paul.
Best on Film Rating ★★★ FIVER

Well now. Another alien film.
Written by and starring Nick Frost and Simon Pegg of Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead fame.
Righty-ho then.

You can kind of tell by these credentials that from the off this film was going to be no ordinary alien flick. And you’d be right. It certainly intrigued the hell out of me – and when I say intrigued, I mean made me want to run for the hills, considering the “comedy” Shaun of the Dead turned out to be (* cough * HORROR * cough *).

It did take a lot for me to get to the cinema to see this, as my expectations were of half-cocked British jokes aimed at an American audience – which can certainly leave a nasty taste in the mouth of even the most seasoned film critics. But alas, I was left with little choice due to simple film scheduling.

Paul starts off with the obligatory introduction to its two anti-heroes, played by Frost and Pegg, who are attending a comic convention in the USA, meeting their hero who apparently wrote a series of suitably cryptic sci-fi novellas. As a warsie (i.e. mega Star Wars geek) I was impressed to see the several respectful references to the epic trilogy in this scene and others throughout the movie. I became a little more comfortable in my seat.

Following this there are a few scenes in which we see the “high jinks” of them being taken for gay in a mistakenly shared hotel room, by a hotel waiter whose lines made no sense to anyone including me; and of life on the American UFO trail in their faithful camper-van. Not very necessary, nor very funny, in my opinion, but thankfully the film got on with it quite quickly after this minor hiccup.

Cue the dropping of Paul into their simple existence, a real extra-terrestrial now on the run from the American government despite living in Area 51 since his spacecraft crashed on Earth in 1947. Paul is not what one would imagine an alien to be like, personality-wise – in fact he is more like your average American Joe: swearing, drinking, smoking, pistachio-loving with, if you’ll pardon the pun, a very down-to-earth attitude to life.

As the geeks attempt to escort Paul to safety and possibly home, they meet not only a cycloptic bible-basher and her dad, but also various inept members of the FBI hard on their heels. All these supporting characters are cute, very stereotypical and serve their purpose – although sometimes offering some of the best laughs in the film.

Paul also offers a poignancy not usually found within Frost and Pegg’s work – particularly through Paul’s ability to heal. Not to give away any spoilers in relation to this, but it is through his selflessness in this respect that we really start to care for his character, which is so important for something that is essentially just an actor’s voice and a bit of computer wizardry. As usual, I must hand it to the tech guys for their excellent work on bringing this little guy to life and making him really act.

So in all, yeah, it’s funny. It even references E.T. sometimes, which is very brave but it works. There are some unexpected twists that are always a plus. So pretty good, but I wouldn’t spend money on a cinema ticket for it, as it’s just not worth it.

No no, this is more suited to a lads’ night in with pizza and a few beers. Buy the DVD and let it collect dust in your collection for a while before re-watching when “in the mood”. It’s that sort of movie, but to be fair, it never claimed to be anything more than that.

Phone Home.


LMB

Mystery Men

Starring  Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, William H Macy, Geoffrey Rush, Janeane Garofalo, Eddie Izzard
Director  Kinka Usher
Released 1999
Plot A group of inept wannabe superheroes are forced to up their game and save the city when supervillain Casanova Frankenstein plots to destroy it and his hero nemesis, Captain Amazing.
Best on Film Rating  ★★★★  FIVER

Well would you look at that line-up: Stiller, Azaria, Macy, Rush, Izzard... this one's got to be good, right?

Right.

Yes, I'm aware that it was made a whooping twelve years ago, but there has to be a reason that this film is widely regarded to be a cult classic, and is repeatedly watched and enjoyed the world over even today. There are several reasons actually.

Firstly, well, the cast. I would even go so far as to say that this may be my dream cast. Although I've never actually heard of Usher as a director (anyone recommend anything this chap has done since?) he seems to know his stuff judging from this, for he stuck to the First Law of Directing Americans in Comedy: play it straight. Forget the razamatazz and Brechtian audience nudge-nudge wink-wink, what makes this work is the fact that the crazy downright loopy characters are offered to us totally deadpan.

That isn't to say that the cast don't look like they had a jolly good time making this (which always enhances a pic I reckon). For this is what they had to portray: Mr Furious (Stiller), with the power of rage; The Shoveller (Macy), who shovels really well; Blue Raja (Azaria), whose power is to throw cutlery at people.

And this is to name but a few - amid the rest of this motley crew of wannabes there's a chap who has incredible flatulence, a lad with invisibility but only when no-one's looking, and a gal who has a possessed bowling ball. Oh and I mustn't forget Casanova Frankenstein (Rush), our resident supervillain, who is heavily into 1970s disco and fights with his sharpened fingernails. Ding ding, everyone off, we've arrived at the funny farm.

And yet it works! Admittedly it all could have gone horribly wrong - can you imagine?!- but let me be the first to reassure you that you won't need to start any hardcore medication as a direct result of seeing this flick.

I mentioned earlier that there are other reasons this now has cult status: another is the surprisingly good special effects. Please bear in mind if you will that this was released the same year as The Matrix, oh ye of bendy slo-mo bodies and bendier spoons. Most of the effects for that were invented especially for it. Cut back to Mystery Men in the same year, to the follow-shots of Casanova Frankenstein in his car in the totally computer animated world of Champion City. Nay bad. And I seriously doubt this lot had anywhere near the budget of the Reeves-fest.

So, overall then, I like this movie. I have it on DVD, I re-watch when in the mood. It's hardly going to win any Oscars, but then I believe if it did it would lose its charm. This is a film people still haven't heard of until it's recommended to them by a friend. I firmly believe that any film that only needs word of mouth as publicity has to be pretty good. So, if you're having a film night anytime soon, try and track this down, ask around, see if anyone you know has it or has seen it. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Inevitably, my closing thought has to be: if you could be an "average joe" superhero, what would your power be? Naturally, mine is the power of confusion. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I confuse people. What can I say, it's a gift. Call it what you will.

LMB

Tangled

Starring Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi, Donna Murphy, Ron Perlman
Director Nathan Greno & Byron Howard
Released 2010
Plot A young princess with magical hair is stolen away at birth and raised in a tower by an old woman obsessed with staying youthful. She only strays out from the tower when a local thief happens across her there and accompanies her as she discovers the world, and who she really is.
Best on Film Rating  ★★★★  FLUSH

Aaah, Disney. Is it me, or has it been a long time coming, a good old-fashioned Disney fairytale? Suffice to say, it's been a long, long, longy long long time since I last saw a proper Disney on the big screen (and when I say "proper" I mean, you know, the old-school Sleeping Beauty class of Disney).

But yes, the hiatus has ended: we went to see Tangled in 3D last night, and what fun it was. For one thing, we were two of about ten people in the cinema in total, of which eight, including us, were adults. There was certainly something illicit about going to see a Disney with no kids, especially if that involves wearing 3D specs. Certainly not something I'd recommend for a date situation, anyway... but I digress.

So, Tangled starts with that cosy warm Disney feeling, in a land far far away, and by the looks of it, a long long time ago. An unusually but wonderfully dry narrator fills us in on the back-story: baby born with magical hair, baby gets snatched by wicked witch, baby grows up in tower... you get the idea. And so we meet Rapunzel, about to hit her eighteenth birthday, and she delightfully sings us a song about what she does all day (which is helpful, as I couldn't help but wonder how she'd got this far without Facebook).

Truthfully, at this stage, I was a little worried: this was a bit too twee for my liking. Was it Mandy Moore's overly tween-angsty singing voice? Was it that I had been so long without Disney that I'd grown unaccustomed to the sweetness of it all? Who knows, but something felt off.

I needn't have worried though: the dry tone the narrator started the film with reappeared as soon as Rapunzel escapes from the tower with the dashing (hot!) young criminal that is Flynn Rider. From this point the scriptwriters seemed to remember the adult audience, offering us sight gags, genuinely funny comebacks and a very amusing horse. Even Alan Menken, usually ol' reliable when it comes to Disney scoring, adjusts his songs, and these just got better as the film progressed (although unfortunately I can't actually hum anything the following day, which is a bit disappointing).

The villain of the piece I must confess I was confused by: Maleficent or Ursula, she was not. I would imagine the old woman who stole Rapunzel for her magical youth-giving hair classes as the villain here, but she lacked a certain je ne sais quoi with regards to being really evil. Maybe Disney were trying to add character layers to her this time, which, if true, was a mistake, as for this genre you need a hundred percent evil if it's going to work. I half expected for her to turn good by the end of the film, which as a Disney scriptwriter you don't want your audience to be feeling.

As for Rapunzel herself, I'm relieved. She could have been overly nicey-nice, but thankfully she turned out to be much more fleshed out character-wise: strong, determined, yet delicate. Skilled in more ways than one with a frying pan.

All in all, I can't go so far as to say this is the best Disney film - good gracious, no - but it holds its own whilst telling quite a difficult story, as, let's face it, Rapunzel is not the most gripping of fairytales out there. Plus, it fulfilled its job description as a Disney, as we left the cinema with the Disney-copyrighted warm feeling inside, not to mention laughing over scenes from the film for the rest of the evening. Job done!

I definitely intend on seeing this again and buying it on DVD when it's released, so that should tell you everything you need to know about this film. The kids will love it, the grown-ups will enjoy it, and watch it in 3D if possible for that extra bit of fun and ooo-factor. Plus, I now plan on learning how to use a frying pan in armed combat. Apparently, it's very useful. As Flynn Rider aptly put it; "Who knew?!"

LMB

Burn After Reading

Starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton
Director Ethan & Joel Coen
Released 2008
Plot A disc with sensitive political information is found by some gym employees, who attempt to sell it illegally, starting a series of events that spiral into chaos.
Best on Film Rating  ★  FRUGAL

Read the plot description above that I've just spent twenty minutes writing. Now read it again. Does it make sense to you? Me neither. But keep that look of abject confusion on your face: you'll need it to watch this film.

The problem with trying to write a description for the plot of a film, is that it sort of needs to have one. But what do you do if nothing happens? Because genuinely, truthfully - nothing happens. It's all craziness, no substance, no clear characters. Nada.

Now, I imagine what the Coens' were going for here was a sort of "French Farce" feel, where one group of characters run onto our stage, create havoc, exit, before an unknowing bunch then run on in their place and it all goes belly up. Thus the genre billing for this being, apparently, "black comedy".

I am sorry to advise, if this was indeed the Coen brothers' intention, that they did not succeed. This was no more a comedy, albeit a black one, than Shaun of the Dead was a comedy, which was, for the sake of argument, a horror flick. The laughs just simply don't exist: what little momentary chuckles this inspired were so forced it was akin to being tortured on a rack, before giving in and consenting to laugh for one's freedom. Brad Pitt's turn as a (possibly) gay gym instructor should have been funny, but instead he was as painful to watch as the audition phase of The X Factor.

For the most part, the idea probably looked very clever on the page, but it sadly did not translate to screen. In fact, the comedy of errors style is probably best left to the British, chaps, as the Americans just don't seem to understand the nuances of making it work.

At the end of the film, I was not only totally indifferent to the story just presented to me but also a bit peeved at the 1 hour 36 minutes that was stolen from my life to watch this. The unanimous "huh" of myself and fellow audience members as the credits rolled pretty much says everything.

As my father would say, this is the ultimate in "vanity filmmaking", in which an all-star cast gets to be paid handsomely for poncing about attempting to be funny. And I'd heard such good things! What are the Golden Globe nominations for, exactly?!

But, quite frankly, don't waste your time. In fact, take advice from the title, and burn after buying. Watch something better.

LMB

District 9

Starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, Nathalie Boltt
Director Neill Blomkamp
Released 2009
Plot An extraterrestrial race forced to live in a slum in Johannesburg suddenly find a kindred spirit in a government agent who is exposed to their biotechnology and forced to fight with them for freedom.
Best on Film Rating  ★★★★  FLUSH

I do believe the place to start with reviewing this film is to mention that it is produced by Peter Jackson, oh he of Lord of the Rings and Meet the Feebles (love that film). It is my personal belief that his discovery of Blomkamp may have inadvertently graced us with whom I have no doubt will be one of the most notable directors of our time. I will be greatly affronted if he doesn’t go on to direct other films (including a sequel to this)… in my opinion, District 9 has proven this young man to be the new Bryan Singer. I kid you not.

For District 9 can boast that which is very unusual in this day and age: a totally new, original premise. For one thing, the Alien spaceship does not break down over Manhattan or Los Angeles – no, no, it grinds to a halt over Johannesburg of all places, to the resounding Hallelujah chorus of sci-fi fans worldwide.

What starts as a documentary style film, reminiscent of British spoof films at times (but not in a groansome way) moves on to a more dramatic first-person style, following the story of our anti-hero Wikus van der Merwe (Copley), and the appalling treatment of a man who is very simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and must deal with something never before faced by a human.

Plus the aliens, given the slang “prawns” in the film, are so well animated and, dare I say it, real, that I find it dizzying to imagine how many hours were put into bringing them to life. Respect to the special effects chaps, I say.

It is impressive to consider the quality of this film particularly due to the completely unknown cast within it (the lead, an old friend of Blomkamp’s, improvised all his dialogue – no easy task). The final 15 minutes is well worth a re-watch alone, which had me, and my guests, all on the edge of our seats – there are precious few A list actors who could have pulled this off to such magnificent, or believable, effect. In fact, I can’t name anyone well-known just now who could have done it.

It could have gone horribly horrendously wrong, but this, I’m glad to say is one of the latest and greatest success stories of Independent(ish) film brushing with Hollywood, complete with Oscar nomination. Watch for the special effects. Watch for the fact you won’t have to play name that actor throughout. Watch for the exploding people. But above all, watch because it’s a damn good film.

Oh, and be warned: you’ll never look at prawn cocktail in the same way again.

LMB

Leap Year

Starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Adam Scott, John Lithgow
Director Anand Tucker
Released 2010
Plot Anna Brady (Adams), a Boston-based control freak hatches an elaborate scheme to propose to her boyfriend Jeremy (Scott) on Leap Day, an Irish tradition that can only take place on February 29th. En route to Dublin to do so, she faces a series of major setbacks when bad weather threatens to derail her trip and she is forced to travel across Ireland to meet him. With the help of an Irish innkeeper, Declan (Goode) however, she just might still get her wish of getting engaged.
Best on Film Rating   ★★★  FIVER

Bless. It's that time of year when a girl looks at her DVD collection and craves something funny, beautiful, touching, romantic, and, dare I say it, something just a little bit pink and fluffy to pop into the old player. In my case, my DVD colllection for once was somewhat lacking, so I rented.

So off we go then: after a read of the promotional blurb on the back of the case I incredulously meet Anna, a woman who "stages" apartments for a living in Boston and likes everything "precise". She is frustrated at the lack of a proposal from her boyfriend of four years, Jeremy, and decides to take matters into her own hands by proposing on leap day. So she's going to travel to Ireland and propose. Alrighty. And, sure enough, as per the blurb, she gets held up and meets an Irish bloke who is forced to help her get to Dublin to do so. Riiiiiight.

Now, I say incredulously, because I was a little worried at this stage: I felt like I had just been handed the script for the entire movie in the first ten minutes, as I'm sure even the most cinematically challenged of audience members could have guessed where this film was going. Predictable is an understatement. For risk of spoilers, however, for the miniscule percentage of the population who can't guess how this film will end, I shan't be the one to tell you. In fact, this film was made for you.

Still, Amy Adams as Anna commits to the role, showing an admirable character arc from strict and serious Bostonian stager to a fun and witty woman quite at ease (eventually) with the frantic spontaneity of Irish culture. I can't really go so far as to say she is a natural comic for films like this, but she puts in the hours, so you can't say fairer than that.

Declan, played by Matthew Goode, perhaps was a bit of an odd choice for his role of her Irish anti-hero: with his unkempt beard and argumentative, pessimistic demeanour, once or twice the character did stray into full-on stereotype. I suppose you ultimately can't go wrong with a chap with a soft Irish accent (it works for me). Still, I must applaud Goode and Adams for their building of sexual tension throughout, which did nothing less than keep the film afloat for a good hour.

Plus, yes, I know I'm not the biggest fan of ye olde generic rom-com, but, by jove, set anything with Irish countryside as the backdrop and I'd say you're onto a winner. So many times watching this film I gasped in admiration for the scenery, often mercilessly ignoring the scene unfolding in the foreground in favour of making a mental note to tour Ireland really, really soon.

Ah, now that's what this film reminded me of - do you know those adverts on TV that hope to boost tourism for a particular country by showing a young couple laughing maniacally whilst driving/skydiving/drinking there? This film is that advert for Ireland. Who cares what the script is, look at that view! B-E-A-utiful.

So, all in all, what can I say? This film will not surprise you, but did you honestly expect it to? It is after all the pink and fluffy film I was craving in the first place, so it certainly delivered in that respect. So I'd say just check it out, buy some ice-cream and swoon over Ireland and the hunks within it, and make a mental note to just let the man propose, girls. We've got childbirth, so it's only fair.

LMB

The Matrix

Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving

Director Andy Wachowski

Released 1999

Plot A man named Thomas Anderson (also known as Neo), lives an ordinary life. A software techie by day and a computer hacker by night, he sits alone at home by his monitor, waiting for a sign in answer to his question; "What is the Matrix?". One night, a mysterious woman named Trinity seeks him out and introduces him to that faceless character he has been waiting for: Morpheus, who presents Neo with the truth about his world.
Best on Film Rating  ★★★★★  FLUSH

Wow. Wow wow wow wow wowsie wow wow. And did I mention? WOW!

I believe most film reviews of The Matrix share this sentiment in one way or another. Apologies if this disappoints you, but my review of this deserved classic will be no different.

There's a really good reason this film is now regarded as a key player in filmic history. In fact there are several really good reasons it is. For here is the film that invented the scene that has been since copied, parodied and plagerised ad nauseum ad infinitum: that of a man in a long leather coat, biker boots and cool shades doing a slow motion martial arts move with various artillery at his disposal, to a heavy metal soundtrack.

Like Star Wars did decades beforehand, the crew invented new technologies as they went along to achieve the never-before attempted special effects. The sheer passion that ignites the making of this film is obvious throughout. The script is like no other and the premise is as original as one can get in this day and age.

When I went to see this film for the first time, a whopping decade ago now (how has it been that long?!), I, like everyone else in the theatre watching with me, was utterly blown away by the story, the style, the suggestion that we are all actually living in a computer-generated world run by machines. Worryingly, the more I thought about the latter at the time, the more I realised it might even be possible. That's the sign of a really, really good film: when you have problems afterwards acknowledging it is just a story, that it's not real.

I love the fact I walked away and immediately bought a book to read about the implications of artificial intelligence. I love the fact that whilst walking away I immediately turned my CD walkman (in those days) to listen to some metal music and daydreamed about myself kicking computer-related backside whilst wearing PVC, doing a triple kick and wielding a machine gun in each hand. That's the effect this film has - the ultimate escapism you're in awe of, but want to be part of. Utter genius.

One of my favourite bits of trivia about this film is that Keanu Reeves turned down a lead role in Speed 2: Cruise Control (a big old turkey as that turned out to be) in favour of doing the months of martial arts training for The Matrix. If only all actors were gifted with this good decision-making. Reeves could so easily, at that stage of his career, been typecast as the hero day-saver for the rest of his days. This film saved him from that - as Neo he's surprisingly good, watchable, and his much-chastised wooden acting style matching perfectly to the necessities of the role. And damn, this man looks fantastic in a long leather coat and biker boots. That always helps.

So, notwithstanding the following two films in the trilogy, this first offering is a must see for everyone, without exception. No really, if you haven't seen this yet, slapped wrists all round, drop what you're doing and go watch it, somehow, right now. No, NOW. Go, now. Or I'll be forced to triple kick you in slow motion whilst wearing leather. Don't say I didn't warn you.

LMB